The Crooked Cockroach

It’s a scary [virtual] world out there

Posted in Uncategorized by cready on August 28, 2009

Time to be afraid of the Web?“, screamed an NY Times editorial yesterday. Think of the last time you heard of your friend’s credit card numbers getting in wrong hands or read about a gigantic identity theft case in the newspapers or at an even more personal level, you stumbled upon some random [and yet visibly suspicious looking] website asking you to give some intimate, personal details about you. Well, if you thought only lay men like you and me could fall into such traps, you are sadly mistaken. The virtual world has become a risk not only for us, but even for the high and the mighty, who generally are expected to have a higher degree of understanding of these things. Ben S. Bernake, U.S Federal Reserve Board Chairman, or to put in simpler words, the man on the mission to save America’s failing economy, who only a few days back was in the news for re-appointment by President Obama for a second term owing to Bernake’s daring and caring policy initiatives, also became a victim to one such nasty ‘prank’ few months back. The Newsweek reports that Mr. Bernake’s wife was swindled by a thief by stealing her purse which had their joint check book. It is being said that the thief belonged to a nationwide identity theft ring [which has now been busted] which fooled over 500 different victims. The article states that six days after Mr. Bernake lost his check book, there was a withdrawal of over $9000 from his account without he or his wife having done it. It was only then that he notified the authorities.

Some might say $9000 is not too big a deal. But it is a big deal! It’s like stealing from the king himself! Maybe, you’re right. Maybe, it ‘just’ a couple of thousand bucks. But what if I told you there’s a man in Miami who has been charged for stealing over 130 million credit card numbers? For more, read this. Well, the dude, named Albert Gonzalez, has been a U.S Secret Service employee expert at hacking etc., and he already has been in the dock for a ‘more paltry’ crime [as compared to the 130 million one!] – stealing 40 million credit card numbers. Seems while we pee and eat and sleep, all this maniac can do is go on a stealing rampage! Here’s an account of how he allegedly did it [from here] :

One of their techniques apparently involved “wardriving,” or cruising through different areas with a laptop computer and looking for retailers’ accessible wireless Internet signals. Once they located a vulnerable network, the hackers installed “sniffer programs” that captured credit and debit card numbers as they moved through a retailer’s processing computers — then tried to sell the data.

In the latest charges against Gonzalez, authorities said he and two Russian conspirators used a different technique to hack into corporate networks and secretly place “malware,” or malicious software, that would allow them backdoor access to the networks to steal data later.

computer-wormWell, I have more of such malicious news. Are you a Windows system user? Ever heard of a worm called ‘Conficker’? The world literally means ‘Configure f***er’ [‘ficker’ is German for ‘f***er’]. As this article warns :

Experts say it is the worst infection since the Slammer worm exploded through the Internet in January 2003, and it may have infected as many as nine million personal computers around the world.

Well, I know Windows sucks, but many still don’t. And it’s for those innocent people that I write about this worm here. Although Microsoft has an elaborate way of fixing it, most people don’t understand what’s happening to their system and stay careless out of ignorance. The above mentioned article also states that :

Earlier this week, security researchers at Qualys, a Silicon Valley security firm, estimated that about 30 percent of Windows-based computers attached to the Internet remain vulnerable to infection because they have not been updated with the patch, despite the fact that it was made available in October. The firm’s estimate is based on a survey of nine million Internet addresses.

Now 30 percent is quite a number, isn’t it? It is also being estimated that computers in over 200 countries have been affected already. Now what does it exactly do? Why is it so dangerous apart from the fact that it spreads fast over the Internet? The worm could affect the computer in a way to generate vast amounts of spam. It could steal information like passwords and logins by capturing keystrokes. It could also deliver fake antivirus warnings to trick naïve users into believing their computers are infected and persuade them to pay by credit card to have the infection removed.

The impact has been especially deep on Government agencies in Europe .

But so long as something terrible doesn’t happen to your system, it’s natural you won’t act on it. Point taken. But my friends, I’ve come to realize that the Internet and the virtual world in general is quite a fun place to be, but it is equally risky. You ought to be on the guard at all times. A few seconds of laziness, and you could land up in hell.It is time you became alert and got yourself educated about all these things if you’re going to be using the Internet hungrily.

The virtual world, as they say, is becoming quite a scary place.

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India TV and kabootars

Posted in Uncategorized by cready on August 27, 2009

The WTF video of the day – India TV showing the plight of the kabootars [pigeons] around the Taj Hotel, Mumbai when it was attacked by terrorists last year.

What…a…load….of…..crap..!! Mental hai yeh media people! I wonder how much that news reporter must have been paid for the engaging, caring and daring commentary on the same day as those attacks when so many people were dying inside the hotel. Maybe he did this for free after getting inspired by Maneka Gandhi’s cause for animal safety because afterall she’s the one who cares so maniacally about animals, isn’t it? C’mon, you got to admit that it is at least as maniacal as India TV.

And by the way, PETA, are you listening? Because if you are not, you might have just missed a gem of a model for your new raunchy, nude photoshoot!

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The good, the bad, the ugly and the funny

Posted in Uncategorized by cready on August 26, 2009

The world truly is a wild and wacky place. I present here some bizarre yet interesting developments around the globe which I read off the Internet and from my life in the past 2-3 days.

THE GOOD [news reporting]

And it’s good news in general too. I first realized about this problem while reading Thomas Friedman’s ‘The World is Flat’ a few months ago. Wikipedia is an awesome medium to learn and know about stuff in general. But it can be often misleading, specially when it comes to lives of celebrities, films and their successes. So wiki fans, although this might seem as a direct challenge to the ‘all-users-are-equal’ concept, I think it is good.

THE BAD [news reporting]

Now even Hannibal Lecter did not think of that [yes, yes, I’m a big fan]. But guess what, the police are smarter than the criminals. Plus, I feel so lucky to be part of a civilization where boob-jobs [for the more subtle audience, it’s called a ‘breast augmentation process’] are in vogue. Not just because they’re awesome to look at, but also because they can be used to solve crimes, or at least make way forward. Poor guy, the killer. Must be confused whether to laugh or cry at this.

THE UGLY [news reporting]

Who wants to know about a girl with two vaginas? Now that’s ugly, isn’t it? But The Times of India, the so-called national newspaper of India, found this article worthy of publishing on the front page of it’s website. The fact that it thought so is a true testament to today’s times of India, isn’t it?

and now, THE FUNNY [thing from my life]

Ever had a girl in your class so hot that she almost distracted from what’s being taught? I bet you must have wished to God before every class that she come and sit next to you, but every single time, God must’ve made you look like a fool. Now you might deny these things in public, but I know while reading this, you’re alone and smiling away mischievously. This actually did happen to me today. But that’s not all. I not only saw a hot girl in class, but I also saw her dozing away blissfully while sitting next to me. And yet, it’s not over. I not only saw her dreamy eyes drooping down, oblivious to my ogling, but I also made them wake up in shock, blood red with irritation, by inhaling a deep puff of air and making a hissing noise. The hot girl finally did look at me with a slightly guilty look, only to doze off again. I know I’m naughty, but so are you. You are giggling there, aren’t you, you little pricks? Plus, it’s not my fault that she’s lazy. Again, you might jump the gun and say I too doze in class, but I never said being lazy is bad, did I?

So much for now. See you soon!

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Who is the BJP’s Humpty Dumpty?

Posted in Uncategorized by cready on August 25, 2009

After Jinnah, now Humpty Dumpty has come to haunt the BJP. Seems ghosts of real persons are not enough to scare the BJP. What it needs is cartoon characters! These days I wonder if it should even be called a national party with all these clowns hitting the headlines for their antics and making up so much for apna Amar [Singh]’s absence. Watch this video if you are curious to know who’s the Humpty Dumpty in the BJP according to Arun Shourie. Man, the feminine way in which he says ‘Humpty Dumpty’ made my day!

And he’s so bang on target about the name, isn’t he? If you don’t know what I’m saying, just get a load of these two pictures; then you’ll know –

humpty dumptyrajnath singh

The scalps of the two dudes taper so similarly at the top. Makes me want to curse myself for never having thought of this nickname. I so wanna blast the mischievous genius that Arun Shourie is! There’s one hitch though; I’ve never heard Humpty speaking. I just wish he’s as nasal as Mr. Singh, if not as much as Himesh.

But Humpty fans, don’t you worry. It seems after all that our BJP Dumpty is going to dump for Shourie for name-calling and fun-poking. So watch out for a punched Arun-bhai on your T.V sets in the next 48 hours. Or maybe, with so many party seniors rebelling, Humpty Dumpty himself might have to resign. I guess party members will be singing this mockingly at his farewell party –

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses,
And all the king’s men,
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Humpty, I’m waiting with bated breath for that great fall [;)].

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My ironical life

Posted in Uncategorized by cready on August 24, 2009

After seeing this photo, I couldn’t help but giggle at my stupid life’s reality. No wonder the spell ‘Khul Ja Sim Sim‘ works when uttered only by some select lucky bastards….[:(]

And to the female reader [if any [:(]], please look at the picture carefully. This could very well be turned into a ‘Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the pervert-est of them all‘ contest for you, couldn’t it [;)]?

Courtesy : this.

Note : If you found the picture offensive, my deepest regrets. It wasn’t my itention to repulse you. Just some good ol’ naughty humor, I guess.

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